If heaven wasn't so far away...

Sara, I miss you so freaking much. 2.5 years later I don't really understand why it had to be this way. I just wish you were here.  I keep thinking about our last conversation. I don't remember if I told you how much I love you that day, but I'm telling you now...

I love you. so. much.

I miss you. I miss our heart to heart talks. I miss our inside jokes.  I just miss everything about you being here.

It was never goodbye; just a see you later.

"Losing them wouldn't be so hard to take, if heaven wasn't so far away"

Will You Let Me Drown?

‎"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Thought of the day:  How many times have I freaked out even when God was telling me to go for it?  How many times have I stepped back from doing what God was telling me to do?

Answer: Way too many times...

Sometimes I am scared to do what God is telling me to do.  This is one of those times; this time I am not backing down.  

However I can't help but think of the time God told Moses to cross the Red Sea and then the time he told Joshua to cross the Jordan.

When Moses crossed the Red Sea two distinct things happened that are different from when Joshua crossed the Jordan.

1) No one had to step foot in the water, it was parted before anyone had to actually cross.

2) They were being chased (aka there really wasn't a better option)

However when Joshua crossed the Jordan two very different things happened

1) Priests had to actually walk into the flooded Jordan before it was parted.

2) They weren't being chased (aka they could have stood on the bank of the river and not have crossed)

Joshua could have easily backed out, said no, and whereas no one really knows where that would have gotten them the option was there.  These days as Americans it seems as often we aren't "chased" into doing what God tells us to do.  It is beneficial, but we seem to always have the option to say no without our lives being in jeopardy.

Basically sometimes God requires you to get in the water before he clears the water away.  Scary, yes.  But, ultimately trusting God is an invaluable trait.

Lesson from today's scripture:  I have 2 things to work on.  

1) Not running away

2) Trusting God even if it involves getting my feet wet.

"In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful"

Something Beautiful by NeedtoBreathe

God's Word Set Free.

 ⁸ Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, ⁹ for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God’s word is not chained. ¹⁰ Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

This is the page that I opened my Bible to today.  And really verses 8 and 10 are only on here to give context to verse 2 Timothy 2:9

"God's word is not chained"

Wow. Powerful.  So I started thinking...Do I ever chain God's word down? 

Answer: YES.

Every time I speak to someone and a scripture pops in my head (and I'm sure it is there for a reason) and I don't speak it I chain down God's word.  Sometimes I stay silent when I shouldn't.  I will even go as far as to admit that I have had opportunities to have real-life conversations about faith with non-believers and I have walked away.  Why?  Because I was uncomfortable and I was afraid of making them uncomfortable.  When I first started walking my walk of faith there were words that just made me unsure of myself.  Words like "God Bless" "I felt the Holy Spirit" and "God is telling me (fill in blank here)"  Phrases that people who have the fire of the Holy Spirit use regularly made me so uncomfortable that I would avoid conversations in order to not make myself or anyone else uncomfortable.  

So my response to the person I used to be back when is...get over it.  God's word is NOT chained.  And I refuse to let it be chained in my life now.  

Why are we all so afraid of making people uncomfortable with the words Jesus Christ? Honestly within the Church when something makes you uncomfortable don't we call that conviction? And isn't it a positive thing?   Or is it not that we are afraid of making others comfortable, but rather we are uncomfortable?  What does it take for YOU to be so excited about Christ that you can't help but set the Gospel free?  Are you letting fears and uncomfortableness chain down God's word in your life?  

Personal challenge for myself:  Every time Scripture pops in my head, no matter who I am around, I am going to speak it out loud, and where that conversation goes from there is up to God, but I am following His lead.

God Bless.

What are you holding back from God?

Recently Acts 5:1-11 has been on my mind.  It is the story of Ananias and Sapphira.  If you are unfamiliar with the story you should definitely read it.  But the story takes place after the death of Jesus.  The apostles have begun the Christian Church and at this time people within the church are giving to the apostles and telling them to fill the needs of others.  Ananias and Sapphira decide to take part in the giving, however they tell Peter that they have sold their property and all of the money that they received they have given to the apostles.  This is a lie; they actually kept some of the money for themselves.  Ananias and Sapphira fall dead instantly.

So what did they do wrong?  After all they were giving something...

It's true they were giving something and had they admitted to giving some instead of claiming to give all God would have been accepting of that.  But Ananias and Sapphira weren't being honest. They were in it for the glory.  They wanted the recognition of giving it all, but they lied.

This story has been on my mind, and I started to really think about my life.  I have my days where I would love to say I am giving it all to God.  At this point I'm no longer just talking about money.  I'm talking about a lot of things i.e. money, time, worries, myself in general, etc.  But I know there is always more to give. Towards the middle of March and beginning of April I realized I had stretched myself so thin that God wasn't getting anything that He deserved out of me.  Worse than that I was telling myself that I was giving him as much as I could.  Looking back just one month ago...that thought is laughable.  It's at this point that I got off Facebook and abandoned my television in search of finding more to give to God. I found it, and I found that when it becomes a conscious thought to give more to God, you realize how little you have actually been giving all along.  I know I still am not giving God all He deserves all of the time, but I know that I am now aware of that.

So I leave this post with this thought.....

What and how much are you holding back from God?

God Bless

Christian Writer or a Writer that is Christian...

This blog has been started with one purpose in mind.  A week or two ago the conversation of vocation and religion came up at The Green Room, and let's be honest I've never thought about this before.  Since the beginning of my time all I have wanted to do is be a writer.  But never have I thought about whether I would be a Christian writer or a writer that happens to be Christian.  This blog is my response to that very important question.  I plan on being a Christian writer.  So what does that mean?  It simply means that this is my blog; this is where my faith meets real life.

God Bless.