Some ramblings and then an Announcement

Wow. Everything is changing!

It is hard to believe that after 2 years Wednesday will be my last day at Sonic. I was so excited to have a "big kid" job, and now I'm realizing the bittersweetness of leaving.  

This time next week I will be moving into my new apartment. There is a lot of excitement going on, and I am looking forward to spending lots of time with my new roommate as we decorate and get set up in our new home.  

The Way has been amazing! We painted doors at Cowden Elementary School (where we hold our service) the other night, and I had a blast to just be serving in the community with my new church family.  It was awesome to see everyone working together.  Taping and painting are not my spiritual gifts by a long shot, but there were plenty of people there that were rocking it out.  It was just so amazing to be in a school filled with people that wanted to just genuinely give back to the place that has given us space every Sunday to worship God!

In all of these changes it is nearly impossible to not see God.  It has become more evident in the past 2 or 3 weeks that God's plans are truly unfolding in my life, and that a leadership conference almost a year ago was the first event in a long line of events that has gotten me to where I am. There is no coincidence about it, God's plans are coming to fruition in an amazing way and I am so blessed that He has chosen me to help spread the Gospel!

"By your fruits you shall know them" (It's in Matthew 7 I think) and I just keep praying to God every night that I can bear good fruit, and really spread his word.  I am so blessed to be in this life with Him as my guide, my support, my friend, and my everything.  

The point of this blog is sort of to make an announcement.  Next week I am being baptized at The Way in response to my faith.  I'm super excited to share this experience with my new church family, and I cannot wait to continue this deeper relationship I have found with God over these past few months. 

I am incredibly, indescribably blessed in all of this.  I have amazing support from all sides in all the changes that are happening, and I can't wait to see the path that I am headed down.  

Text Message

I had gotten back this evening from hanging out with a friend for most of the day, and then I looked around at the disaster in my apartment.  There was cleaning to do and dishes to be done,  unfilled boxes scattered the living room floor that really need to be getting filled, and then my history book where 1 out of 13 chapters is completed and everything is due August 1st.  My heart started racing and I began to cry.  I was freaking out, about everything I needed to do and the time I didn't have. ...And then my phone went off.

I looked and it was Melissa from my Philippians bible study.  It was simply the verse about how you shouldn't be anxious in anything (Philippians 4:6 if you want to go read it).  My heart jumped out of my chest and if I wasn't crying before I was in that moment.  Not because I was freaking out but because God just wrapped me in His arms and said "You're doing fine"  I couldn't believe it. I have no doubt God was speaking through Melissa in that moment and not just to me but to several of the other girls too.

What an amazing experience. I couldn't believe it. God knew just what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it and He sent his message in just the right way.  I don't know if I can explain it other than it almost feels like God himself texted me.

What a blessing it is to have these ladies from this bible study in my life, I can't begin to explain the work I see God doing in all of us as group. I am just so blessed.

His Will, not Mine.

After months of praying and weeks of talking things over with the best mentor ever (Genesis), and asking many people to pray about this  I finally did what I never thought I'd do in a million years.

I left Green Room.

I want to make it well known to everyone that Green Room has been an amazing place for me to grow and develop in my walk with Christ, and the past 3 years have not only been filled with God but also with the amazing relationships that come out of that.

I also want everyone to realize this was not a "I woke up randomly and decided to leave" decision.  This has been prayed about by many people, and it wasn't an easy place to land.  To be honest it was quite scary, and days later occasionally I still have mini freak outs of "Oh shoot what am I supposed to do next? Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?"  God keeps reassuring me that I am on His path, but nonetheless the human that is me is still worrying occasionally.

So why did I leave?

I stretch myself far too thin far too often, and as I was looking at next fall I realized I had many things God was calling me to do, and I also had many obligations to fill with work and school.  With that in mind I came to the conclusion that I owed Green Room 100% of myself, and without a doubt there was no way I could give that much of me and still fill what God was calling me to do.

I was met with an amazing amount of support from all of the leadership within Green Room after announcing my decision, and more than anything that support and love made everything that God had been telling me reconfirmed.  On the other side of things I have found a church that I want to call home for years to come past my graduation of college, and from there too I was met with an overwhelming amount of support and welcomes.

Leaving is bittersweet. This is a huge transition year for Green Room, and I would have loved to been apart of that, and I fully planned on being apart of that.  However this is one of those times where my plan and God's plan were not the same, and as scary as it was I had to place His plan above mine not only for myself, but for Green Room too.

I am following what God has called me to do in a completely blind way.  I have no idea what comes next, and I have a lot of growing to do over the next year as I truly let God lead my life in a way I have never done before.  

To everyone that has touched my life because of Green Room: Thank You, I would not have the strength and faith that I have in God today without every single one of you.

I am so excited about what God is doing in my life, and I'm excited because I know He is doing spectacular things with Green Room as well.   Our paths may be different, but our goal is the same:  To grow God's kingdom.

Once again the love and support from every side, has been amazing.  I'm so blessed to have met so many great God-filled people along the way, and to know I will keep meeting great people is a huge blessing.  This is totally a God thing, and I hope that shines through in all of this.  None of this is by accident, this is all His plan, and therefore only good can come out of it.

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown faith is knowing one of two things will happen.  There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly"

God Bless.

And she thinks we’re just fishin’

I remember when I was little my family would go out to Tablerock Lake and I remember one specific day with my Barbie fishing pool, in my dad's boat fishing.  It's one of the few memories I have of my parents being together.  But there we were fishing on the lake and I remember catching 5 blue gill that day, and was I the proudest 4 year old you've ever seen.  Over the past few years I have come to see how finite time is, and how the people you love can be gone in a blink of an eye.

Today I met my dad and Julie and the Lake of the Ozarks, and I was not expecting a whole lot past just hanging out for the evening.  My dad and I spent like 3 hours in the pool hitting a beach ball back and forth just having fun.  We got done, and I helped Julie make dinner and then cleaned up, and then my dad and I did something that we haven't done in a very long time.  We sat on the side of the lake and we fished.  We didn't talk a whole lot, just a lot of casting the line, reeling it back in, and not catching any fish.  Regardless it will probably be one of my favorite memories with my dad.  I am so incredibly blessed to be able to just fish with him, not say a word, and know it will always be a memory for both of us.  Anyhow the entire time I had this song stuck in my head, because it's just the relationship my dad and I have always had...

"Just Fishin" by Trace Adkins...

I’m lost in her there holdin’ that pink rod and reel
She’s doin’ almost everything but sittin’ still
Talkin’ ‘bout her ballet shoes and training wheels
And her kittens
And she thinks we’re just fishin’

I say, “Daddy loves you, baby” one more time
She says, “I know. I think I got a bite.” 
And all this laughin’, cryin, smilin’ dyin’ here inside’s
What I call, livin’

And she thinks we’re just fishin’ on the riverside
Throwin’ back what we could fry
Drownin’ worms and killin’ time
Nothin’ too ambitious
She ain’t even thinkin’ ‘bout
What’s really goin’ on right now
But I guarantee this memory’s a big’in
And she thinks we’re just fishin’

She’s already pretty, like her mama is
Gonna drive the boys all crazy
Give her daddy fits
And I better do this every chance I get
‘Cause time is tickin’
(Yeah it is)

And she thinks we’re just fishin’ on the riverside
Throwin’ back what we could fry
Drownin’ worms and killin’ time
Nothin’ too ambitious
She ain’t even thinkin’ ‘bout
What’s really goin’ on right now
But I guarantee this memory’s a big’in
And she thinks we’re just fishin’

She ain’t even thinkin’ ‘bout
What’s really goin’ on right now
But I guarantee this memory’s a big’in
And she thinks we’re just fishin’
Yeah, aww, she thinks we’re just fishin’
We ain’t only fishin’
(This ain’t about fishin’)