God Provides

A lot has happened lately, nothing I particularly want to discuss on a blog, however I have learned something, that maybe I've always known but never really applied to life: God will always provide.


The Bible says it over and over again...


Nehemiah 6:9


They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed." But I prayed, "Now strengthen my hands."


Luke 12:7



⁷ Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 6:28-34 

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

...there are more, but I think 3 proves a point.  

"No room for fear, full of faith
Hands held high singing Amazing Grace"

So I Had a Bad Day...

Today definitely did not include any of my finer moments in life.

This week I've felt run down physically from just not feeling good.
I had a nice little sugar binge which sent my ADD spiraling and took my emotions with it.
And on top of it all my summer class started and all motivation to do anything disappeared.

It's one of those weeks where it seems like everything is an uphill battle whether it is getting up in the morning, or making an attempt to get something accomplished.  And after putting a nice dent in my vehicle this afternoon everything came to the unstoppable feeling where I just needed to sit down and cry.  I unloaded on my mother for a good 30 minutes, and right when I thought I was out of tears I called my dad and cried all over again.  So after crying to my dad for 30 minutes as well, I got off the phone and threw myself a pity party. And then it hit me.

I had a few bad days, maybe at this point it could be considered a bad week, but I am so much stronger than a few bad days.  I know this. So why does it take so little to throw people off course sometimes?  I've held myself together a lot better in far worse times so why all of the sudden does a small sickness, a dent in my car, and a few other "spilt milk" moments send me into this crazy pity party?

Realization #1: it was 3 or 4 days of the 365 in this year alone...no big deal
Realization #2: it is definitely all fixable...including the car.
Realization #3: it wasn't up to me to handle all of this, sometimes i forget that its okay to hand the small things over to God, just like the big things.

It seems crazy, but when someone you love passes away, or when all of the sudden you realize you forgot a big deadline you worry, and then you ask God to take care of it, and whereas sometimes we still worry about it still, we still make the attempt to throw it over to God.

Yet when "milk spills," and you are at the end of your rope from a "few bad days" it takes (at least for me) an hour of crying and a pity party before I realize that it doesn't have to be my burden, and it is all fixable.  I don't know why I am always so eager to hand God the big stuff, but the small stuff I just assume its all on me.

If God is bigger than all of the big stuff (which He is) then squashing the small stuff is no big deal for him.  So here I am realizing nothing was all that terrible, and that its okay to look to God and say "Hey I'm frustrated.  A little help?"  And obviously he didn't come down in a mechanics outfit and fix the dent in my car, but he did give me a little relief, and moved my attitude into a better spot, and gave my mind a little clarity to logically reason through some things.

I guess sometimes these "few bad days" happen, and it is nights like tonight where I realize that God can handle the small stuff, just like the big stuff, and its okay to go to him over "spilt milk."  I'm sure I have had this realization before, but sometimes I need a reminder.

So I had a bad day, no big deal. I have an awesome God.

Memorizing Philippians

It's been awhile.  Not a whole lot has happened.  I'm currently feeling under the weather which sucks because I hate not being at work, not being able to go out, and just in general i don't like feeling like someone is kicking me in the throat every time I cough.

So lately I have been making a concentrated effort in memorizing Philippians.  Yes, I said memorizing, and yes I mean the whole book of Philippians.  It's something the church I have been going to on Sunday mornings started doing as a church.  It was talked about, everyone seemed to be getting a lot out of it, but I was still somewhat unsure how it would work with me.  So a month or two ago, I started. I memorized the first 4 verses, and then I stopped. I wasn't dedicated, and I wasn't seeing where this was going to lead.  About 2 weeks ago God laid it on my heart again, basically telling me to give it another try.  So I did.  I'm thirteen verses in, and now I GET IT.

Ok so memorizing scripture...  What I have found is that it's not so much about what I am memorizing at this point (I mean I'm only 13 verses in) but all of a sudden I find myself just reciting the first 13 verses of Philippians to myself, and then I find myself just in constant thought about God, and then it has turned into prayer.  And I mean praying in the car, praying in bed at night, praying while heating up some mac and cheese, all of sudden its memorizing scripture and prayer all the time, every chance I get.

Prayer, lets say this I love love love love love prayer, but sometimes I'm not the best about praying every day like I should, and all of the sudden it's like I can't get enough God time.  I've experienced this before I refer to it as the "church camp high."   It's like when your at church camp and your on this cloud and the real world is no where to be found and it's this euphoric, peaceful high.  Then you get back from church camp and everyday that high seems to go down just a notch, until you're back to the way you were the day before church camp. But all of a sudden I'm not at church camp, and I have this "I cant get enough God" feeling all day long.  It's been amazing and it all has come from the memorizing of scripture, and what that has lead me to do.

In the midst of this life has been happening, and my stress level is down, things that usually send me into a quick spiral of craziness have just been there, and it's been easier to lay it at God's feet.  I feel at peace more often than I ever have. EVER.

If you've never sat down and memorized scripture, I think you should give it a go, and Philippians has been great.  Its packed with awesome, inspiring words from Paul, and it's only 4 chapters so I think it seems like it'd be less discouraging than trying to memorize Psalms right off.  I don't know. Try it for yourself. See where God leads you with it.  It has been such a blessing for me, and I am truly LOVING it.