So I Had a Bad Day...

Today definitely did not include any of my finer moments in life.

This week I've felt run down physically from just not feeling good.
I had a nice little sugar binge which sent my ADD spiraling and took my emotions with it.
And on top of it all my summer class started and all motivation to do anything disappeared.

It's one of those weeks where it seems like everything is an uphill battle whether it is getting up in the morning, or making an attempt to get something accomplished.  And after putting a nice dent in my vehicle this afternoon everything came to the unstoppable feeling where I just needed to sit down and cry.  I unloaded on my mother for a good 30 minutes, and right when I thought I was out of tears I called my dad and cried all over again.  So after crying to my dad for 30 minutes as well, I got off the phone and threw myself a pity party. And then it hit me.

I had a few bad days, maybe at this point it could be considered a bad week, but I am so much stronger than a few bad days.  I know this. So why does it take so little to throw people off course sometimes?  I've held myself together a lot better in far worse times so why all of the sudden does a small sickness, a dent in my car, and a few other "spilt milk" moments send me into this crazy pity party?

Realization #1: it was 3 or 4 days of the 365 in this year alone...no big deal
Realization #2: it is definitely all fixable...including the car.
Realization #3: it wasn't up to me to handle all of this, sometimes i forget that its okay to hand the small things over to God, just like the big things.

It seems crazy, but when someone you love passes away, or when all of the sudden you realize you forgot a big deadline you worry, and then you ask God to take care of it, and whereas sometimes we still worry about it still, we still make the attempt to throw it over to God.

Yet when "milk spills," and you are at the end of your rope from a "few bad days" it takes (at least for me) an hour of crying and a pity party before I realize that it doesn't have to be my burden, and it is all fixable.  I don't know why I am always so eager to hand God the big stuff, but the small stuff I just assume its all on me.

If God is bigger than all of the big stuff (which He is) then squashing the small stuff is no big deal for him.  So here I am realizing nothing was all that terrible, and that its okay to look to God and say "Hey I'm frustrated.  A little help?"  And obviously he didn't come down in a mechanics outfit and fix the dent in my car, but he did give me a little relief, and moved my attitude into a better spot, and gave my mind a little clarity to logically reason through some things.

I guess sometimes these "few bad days" happen, and it is nights like tonight where I realize that God can handle the small stuff, just like the big stuff, and its okay to go to him over "spilt milk."  I'm sure I have had this realization before, but sometimes I need a reminder.

So I had a bad day, no big deal. I have an awesome God.