Black Friday Thoughts

Last night was my first ever Black Friday experience.  I went to Buffalo, Missouri to help a friend and her mom collect up on the best black friday deals the second smallest Wal-Mart in the country has to offer.  We were probably 10 feet out from the door when the doors opened up, and the mad-dash started.  And as I awaited that moment in all the movies where two people grab the very last item, and a fight ensues to my surprise there was no fight, and to be honest the mad-dash wasn't even all that crazy.  I headed to the Auto Care section, grabbed my ticket for a laptop that was on sale and at 8:30pm I sat down in a little corner (by myself for a good five minutes) to wait till the clock struck midnight.  Within 10-15 minutes several people had joined me, and took their seats in line.

For the next three and a half hours I learned the lives of total strangers.  But it wasn't until this morning where I realized despite almost four hours of casual conversation with these people, not once did I bring up my faith.  I've been asked throughout my life as a Christian if people I knew were aware that I was a Christian.  For the most part the answer is yes. My friends know, my family knows, and most of the people in my classes know.  So why is it that last night when every conversation was revolved around Christmas not a single person in that line knew?  I'm unsure of the answer to that to be honest.  I enjoyed getting to know these people, and where I will probably never see them again I wish them the best in life.  However part of me wonders what God could have used me for if I had done more than just listen to their conversations.  

I guess it was just a reality check for me...God can only use us to build His kingdom if we let Him.  Maybe last night He didn't need me in that moment which is why He didn't lay it on my heart then, but this morning He is reminding me that He might have needed me, and that next time I need to be prepared to open up and talk about my faith even if it is in a Wal-Mart aisle with complete strangers.

Perhaps this was His way of making me rethink that question..."Is everyone I know aware that I'm a Christian?"  Perhaps this is His reminder that everyone means the people you meet day to day even if you never expect to see them again.

Permanency

First and foremost, Happy Thanksgiving.

As we reach this holiday, and with Christmas rapidly approaching there has been a lot of talk about what everyone is thankful for.  And even as I sit in my living room in my apartment three and a half hours away from my family, I can't help but sending up thanks to God for everything I have.

I made the decision almost a month ago that I wasn't heading to STL for this holiday, and over the past month I've had many offers from the people here in Springfield to join them.  I think that alone is a huge reason to be thankful! Even though I'm not with my own family, so many people around have wanted to make sure that I was with a family.

So as well as being thankful for my own family (obviously) and for my friends who seem to be just like family I'm feeling incredibly blessed.  But I'm also reminded the reason for the holidays.

I sit here being reminded that this earth is not my permanent home, and for that I am also incredibly thankful.  God set me apart long ago to be called elsewhere after this life, and I look forward to the day where I can worship Him all the time.  So where is this blog going?

Nothing is permanent here on Earth, and for that I am also thankful.  We seem to look at permanency and be thankful for the things that are or appear to be permanent.  And the things that seem to not be permanent, as humans we find ourselves wishing they were.  However  I find myself in a place realizing the non-permanency of life makes me incredibly thankful.  Pain, suffering, hurting, sickness are all just here in this life, not in the next one.  In this thankfulness for the non-permanent things of life it makes me even more thankful for the ONE and ONLY permanent thing in this life...God. His love, and His promise are permanent, and it is something we can take refuge in.

Galatians 3:26-29

26 "for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.29 And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise."

Finding Jesus in a Folder

I have had a box of my sister's crap in a back closet for a while, and when I moved into my new apartment it just went into the back of a different closet.   I had tried to go through it before, but I ended up just being an emotional non-functioning mess.

One of my biggest emotional dilemmas has been whether my sister knew Jesus or not, and to be honest I had no idea.  I started my transition into Christianity about 3 months before my sister died, needless to say no evangelizing or religious conversations happened during that time, and I had no idea about her beliefs.

With the holidays around the corner which includes Sara's birthday (December 23) and 3 years since she died (Jan 3) I decided maybe it was time to try and piece together the things I didn't know, so  I pulled out some of the stuff that was at the very top of the box and tossed them on the floor. It was mostly papers, and letters, and old drawings...Anyhow when I had tossed the pile of letters and papers on the floor to go through them 2 pages that had been ripped out of a book fell out of a folder.  So I picked up the 2 pages (which I must add they had that musty book smell...and i love that smell) On the 2 pages was a  365 day Bible reading plan, and then 3 bible versus that layout the invitation that Jesus extends to follow him.  I then picked up the folder and dug further.  I found a summary of all 4 of the Gospels laid out in the Bible, with a small fact sheet on each gospel writer.  I also found a piece of paper that had "The Case For Christ" by Lee Strobel written on it, as if someone had mentioned it to her and she made a note of it.

I don't know what this means, but it gives me hope. It gives me hope that Sara had come to God and accepted his gift of salvation.  It gives me hope of seeing my older sister again, and getting to know her as a sister in Christ.

I'm unsure where this leaves me in my path to dealing with the loss of my sister.  Three years later I can say that I haven't dealt with a lot of the feelings I probably should deal with.

I found Him in a folder tonight and I just hope and pray she found Him in her heart before her passing.