A Letter

Dear Sara,

Today would be your 31st birthday.  I woke up this morning, and thought about what I would have said to you in a text message.  It went like this:

Happy Birthday Sis, sorry you're getting old :P

I don't know what you would have said back. Probably thanks and shut up.  I do know this: I miss you more everyday, not less.  It's harder to remember your laugh, but what we laughed about will forever be with me.  I try not to think about the days we didn't have or the times when things weren't perfect. I try really hard to do things that make you proud, or at least make you smile.

I'm going to Africa in September, and I can't help but think how happy you would be for me.  I'm blessed to have such an amazing support system here, and I know in a way you are a part of that.  It's hard for me not to wish you were here when I talk about my trip, I just know how excited you would be for me.

I carry you with me everyday in some way or another. I will always miss you, but I promise to keep moving forward. When I get sad or stressed or frustrated I think of how you called me "baby girl" and always told me things would work out.  And you know? They always have worked out.

I know you hated that your birthday was so close to Christmas but I'm probably not going to be writing you another letter...this one seems crazy enough. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas.

I love you. I definitely wish I would have told you that more, but I know you knew.

Love,
Lauren