Application #2

Okay so here is sort of a general Africa update...

I've been feeling like a door got closed on me and I've been sitting in a very vacant hallway for a while now.  No news, no e-mails, no updates, no decisions, no flights.  I wanted to scream, but instead I pouted (or maybe I did both.)

I felt like I had discerned God's call incorectly. Maybe He was telling me no. Maybe this wasn't His plan for my life. Or maybe He wanted me to see how badly I had actually wanted to follow His lead.

Before the whole graduation thing I wasn't sure. I was scared. I wasn't blindly following Him, rather asking Him a whole lot of questions.  I think I'm more prepared now to blindly follow His lead because now I know how much I want this. I don't need to know where the money will come from...just that it will show up. I don't need to know how I'm going to survive without my family and friends in another country...just that He will be there, every step of the way. I don't need to worry about dying on a plane...just that He will be there to help me get through it.

I just finished my application for Ethiopia, and ideally tomorrow it will be in the mail.  I'm guessing  I will hear back rather quickly...by December 15th.

Please pray for this. Pray that I keep my head together, and that I give all of this to God. This is His plan, not mine and I need to STOP being a control freak because as I was reminded by the sermon this morning, I am not and never will be in control of how life happens.

I've learned a lot about myself the past 6-8 weeks, and I've learned a lot about my relationship with God.  He is making me better than  I could ever become on my own.

So here goes application #2...please pray for this.