I Owe God More.

Tonight was one of those nights. I was veggin' out on my couch, watching Miss Advised (probably 2nd to only Dance Moms) after having gorged down dinner with Kate, and then God interrupted.

If it had been an audible conversation and not the Holy Spirit it would have gone like this:

God: Go read your Bible.
Me: No God, I'm watching Miss Advised...later.
God: I'm going to keep bothering you until you do it.
Me: I'm going to keep watching Miss Advised, and actively ignoring you.

*ten minutes pass*

Me: Okay, fine, you win, stop looking at me like that.

Okay so I did get up, put the television on mute, grabbed my Bible, and sat down on my bed.  I ended up at the book of Malachi.  I'd read it once before (I only know because it had been highlighted, but up until rereading it, I probably couldn't have told you what it was about.)  The book of Malachi revolves around God's people short-changing him.  (Really there is no better term, God was straight getting gipped.)  They were sacrificing blind/crippled animals they couldn't sell, they weren't tithing, and even the priest weren't living up to the standards God had set. On top of it all, they were complaining...about everything.  God's response..."Come worship me when you mean it."

Convicted? Oh yes.  Can I tell you how often I pick Dance Moms over Jesus?  Okay I honestly don't want to admit that number in a blog, but even once is too many.  Oh and new episodes of Dance Moms premieres on Tuesdays (aka during Community Group) and I am pretty sure every single Tuesday I throw in a comment about how mad I am about missing Dance Moms (Okay I have a problem, I know God already made it clear) It's not just Dance Moms though...God calls us to use our time, talent, and treasure to serve His kingdom, and I think it is fair to say I've been slacking.

God is calling me to more. More time with Him. More time with His people. More use of the gifts He has given me. More sacrifice in my life, so I can serve others. I owe God so much more than what I am currently giving.  It really is a gut-wrenching realization. I feel like I have short-changed the God that has breathed life into me, and has given me EVERYTHING for a few episodes of Dance Moms, and more time on my couch.  I think it's time to re-evaluate how I am living my life. I am spending a whole lot of time doing things that aren't growing his Kingdom in any way, I am spending a whole lot of time serving myself, and not Him.  (I sort of feel like it's 20% Him and 80% me, and I sort of feel like it needs to be closer to 100% Him and 0% me...P.S. admitting that sucks.)

I'm promising Him more. I don't really know what that looks like, but I'm going to find out.  I think it starts with less time watching Dance Moms, Miss Advised, and the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  (I won't continue the list but I can tell you RHNJ is Sunday nights, Miss Advised is Mondays, and Dance Moms is Tuesday...you get the point...I am a trash T.V. junkie...it is my guilty pleasure without a doubt)

For the past few months I've prayed more Him, and less me, and I think He is calling me to it, and I couldn't be happier. I want nothing more than a life that actively seeks Him in everything I do, after all I've learned over and over again that I am most joyous at the center of His will. There will be times when I need a kick in the butt (Tonight is example A) but I know God kicking me into gear, simply means that He has truly set me apart, and I couldn't be more thankful for that.

So one more time, God I ask for a whole lot more of you, and a whole lot less of me.