Pause

Do you ever just want to hit pause?

Pause on life, on work, on relationships, on everything?

Right now I want nothing more than to hit pause. It's like my heart jumped ship for Africa, my mind is always at work, I'm fighting my tendency to run away from relationships, I'm dealing with things I have made an effort to not deal with for the past 22 years, and I'm somewhere outside of it all, watching, wishing I could just hit pause.  I need everything to stop long enough to gather myself that feels stretched in a million directions, and get centered on what is really important:

Christ.

This happens over and over again. I bite off more than I can chew, I send myself in 10 different directions, my relationship with God becomes the last thing on a to-do list rather than a desire of my heart, and I keep running ahead of myself just trying to make it to a certain day or time.  Then something unexpected happens, like I had it all under control on my own, things were planned, I was going to be fine, and then something happens because life isn't as plan-able as I would like it to be. I'm too busy chasing after everything that isn't God, so God reminds me once again that life can't be mapped out, and it definitely is not just a series of to-do list.

Reminded: Life is not about me or my plan, but about Him, His will, and His plan. I want it no other way.