This Step, and the Next

Today at 9am I felt like my whole world collapsed. MSU punched me in the stomach, broke my heart, and then stomped on it.

I was planned to graduate in December. (Why yes, that is 3 months from now). Today I find out there was an error in my degree audit.  NINE credit hours are missing. That's three classes, and it looks like an extra semester. I will not graduate this December, but in May. My heart fell apart, and I cried.

I had Africa planned in February.
I had family looking forward to my graduation.
I was done with school.
I had decisions made, plans made, and bottom line I was ready to start life post-graduation.

So what does this mean for Africa/Fundraising?

I'm still going. I emailed the orphanage to see if we could reset dates in June. Not for 6 weeks, but for a year. Fundraising is still happening, as far as I'm concerned this is STILL God's will, and I will plan accordingly until He makes it very very clear it's not. This may be a six month delay, but delays happen all of the time. Life is made up of these, and I have a perfect, almighty God to carry me through them. UGANDA IS STILL HAPPENING! I haven't doubted that for a single moment.  The fundraising we have planned is still a go. (In June it will still cost money)  I have no doubt that I am meant to serve at this orphanage. I have no doubt that something bigger and better is coming of this.

How are you feeling?

I feel like crap. I played the blame game for a while this morning. It was my advisors fault, it was MSU's fault, it was my fault.  That game made me feel a whole lot worse.  I called my dad and cried to him mid-work day. I cried to my assistant manager in the middle of my progress report. I cried to my best friend on the phone. I cried to my mentor. I cried to a whole lot of other people, and basically I just cried a lot. I shed a lot of tears today. I told myself today I could cry as much and as hard as I wanted as long as tomorrow I picked up the pieces, and I moved on with my head held up.  Tomorrow I pick up the pieces. Tomorrow I pick my nine credit hours, and I enroll. I will PRAISE GOD in this moment. It hurts...most definitely but His plan is happening.

My one request...

Pray about this, and for me.  It really isn't easy to have your whole life pushed back six months, in fact it is really hard.  I don't know why this is happening, and God and I are on a need to know basis, and right now...I probably don't need to know.  He has this covered, but I am human and need prayers. Pray that I truly give this to Him in this time. Pray that I keep my thoughts positive. Pray that God's plan and God's glory shines through in all of this.

To everyone who let me cry today...

Thank you. I needed it, but more than that I needed your support, which was also overwhelmingly present. I am SO THANKFUL for each and everyone of you. I am thankful for moments like these where I can recognize God's amazing ability to put the right people in your life at the right moment. I am going to be okay. This is nothing but a bump in the road, and I will praise God for it because I know there is a reason.

Things I know:
He has plans for me to give me hope and a future.
He works all things in my good.
He is there when I call on Him.
When I am lost, He will find me.

Nine credit hours will not stand between me and my dreams, and it definitely won't stand between God and His plan.  Praising God for all He has done and will do.